My Fear 10/24/12

One of my fears is being rejected. There are multiple types of rejection that I am fearful of. I have great anxiety; the feeling of nervousness and uneasiness. I am first, fearful of being rejected by people or friends. For example, when people first meet me, I come off as shy because I let people come to me, more than me coming to others. This, I believe, is mostly because I have an older sister and since she is super outgoing, its like she is sociable and easygoing for the both of us. I am known as "Baileys sister" instead of Madison. I give into the assumption that I am super shy. However, anyone who has known me and spent time with me knows how jokey and outgoing I can be.

 Also, rejected as in failure. Failure to get good grades or do things that people want me to do, that would make them proud. Even when people, for example, are talking and I assume they are talking to me, after realizing that they are not talking to me, it always makes me blush and feel very insecure. 

In the end, insecurity is what really seems to rob me of myself and the abilities that I posess. Even as a young child, I always strived to be like someone else, to act in the same manner as them, as if I was a Parasite; jumping from one person to another, never really being content with my situation and myself.

In conclusion, I would say I am not only afraid of what peoples opinions of me will be, but also my
opinion of myself.